Blank White Page
by Crushed Seraphim
Summary: Damon finally let's Elena know what he's feeling- in the form of a song- Blank White Page by Mumford & Sons Delena with a bit of Stelena


Blank White Page

Unknown POV

Tonight is a busy night at the grill. The bartender is getting everything ready for everyone waiting for their drinks, as well as taking care of refills. One of the regulars keeps waving him over every so often, always asking for another glass of the usual—bourbon. He is beginning to slur his words, having had too much already. _I wonder what has him so upset – a girl?_ The bartender wonders. The raven-haired man points at his glass.

"What are you waiting for? I'm in need of a refill." he barks, clearly annoyed.

"Nah, man...I don't think so. You've had enough." is the reply; the glass is quickly but gently pried away from the fingers that grip it like a life line.

Elena's POV

I see Damon across the room, sitting on one of the bar stools and walk over. Having heard the last bit of the conversation between Kyle and him, I can tell Damon is drunk and that he is most likely going to compel himself more alcohol.

"Hey," I speak softly, "let's get you some water. You're going to be dehydrated after all those drinks."

"Well, if it isn't Elena coming to my rescue. You should really save that for the people who need to be saved." he says, turning to me. In a quiet but forceful tone he adds, "I'm not one of them."

His words hit their target making me flinch. He knows how much I care about him and yet, he always takes my offer of help and throws it back in my face.

"C'mon, Damon, you don't mean that." I said, reaching for his arm and trying to convince him to get up. Seeing he is not budging, I say, "Let's get you home. Please." My voice pleads him to cooperate and stop being stubborn.

"Let me be. I'm not Saint Stefan! You have no obligation to care for me. I'm an adult capable of surviving." Briefly, I see a flash of pain cross his face; seconds later, it's gone as he hides the emotions behind his usual impenetrable mask.

Fortunately, Stefan comes to my rescue and forcefully pulls Damon away from the bar, giving him a pointed stare, daring him to object. He convinces him to sit at a nearby table, across from him, while I go grab a bottle of water for him.

"Drink!" I command him in my best stern tone, one of my hands on my hips, the other holding out the bottle.

He frowns but yields, knowing I will not give up until he obeyed.

As Damon drinks the water, we hear one of the entertainers call out for any volunteers who might want to try their hand at singing. Tonight is a sort of karaoke night at the Grill, which takes place every Friday night.

"I volunteer." Damon said, raising his voice in order to be heard at the front.

Before Stefan or I could even reply, the entertainer replies, "Great. We've got our first volunteer. Who wants to go second?"

As the shock gives way to disbelief, I hiss, "Are you crazy? What are you doing?" Turning to the stage, I blush as I say, "Don't mind him. He doesn't know what he's saying…" I hate drawing attention to myself—it feels so uncomfortable having multiple pairs of eyes watching you like some freak show.

"Yes I do!" Damon cut in. "First, you have no right to decide for me. Second, trust me, you'll enjoy this." he adds, looking at the two of us. I shake my head, still a little concerned knowing he is most likely going to embarrass himself. Damon plus alcohol plus singing plus a room full of people equals disaster.

Stefan leans in, whispering "Leave him. He needs to learn from his mistakes. Plus, I'm curious what he's up to." I nod but put some distance between us, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. I'm still not used to being around him after all the time spent with just Damon.

Speaking of Damon, he walks to the front and stops in front of the microphone, takes it off its stand, and greets his eager audience.

"Good evening, ladies… And gentlemen." With a bad boy smirk, he has the women under his spell. "Tonight, I'll be singing a little something by Mumford and sons. Enjoy!" he winks at us. He walks over to the leader of the band and whispers something to him.

As he turns back, I notice that the mischievous expression on his face melts away, in turn replaced by a somber one, as the melody fills the room, embracing us like a caress.

_Can you lie next to her, and give your heart, your heart, as well as your body_

_Can you lie next to her, and confess your love, your love, as well as your folly_

His eyes were locked on his brother, a sad, resigned expression on his face. He closes his eyes briefly and turns to me. As our gazes locked, I felt as if his eyes offered me access to his soul. I had no doubts we were both thinking of the night he slept over during the few months Stefan was away with Klaus. He was back now, home and to his old self – but I could see it was a strain; that he had difficulty sticking to his old diet. This is the reason I have been hesitant in us being together again. I still love him, and I think he will always be a part of me but I can't jump into a relationship knowing he's changed so much. I feel as if the man I fell in love with is gone and a new version replaced him – a confident one, but that a shadow of the previous self still lingers behind. It's not the same as it was before though, and that frightens and worries me more than I will ever admit to anyone. The whole time he was gone, Damon was there for me, every step of the way—taking care of me and always letting me know he'll be there to catch me when I fall. He and I became significant parts of each other's lives. This is why, even if I don't show it, his words and actions hurt—every time he shuts me out, every time he rejects my help, my heart aches.

Suddenly, his eyes stray away from mine, as he breaks the connection. His gaze focuses on the person sitting beside me, Stefan.

_And can you kneel before the king, and say I'm clean, I'm clean_

He raises his eyebrows and I become confused. I turn to look at Stefan but notice he's solely looking at his brother. His expression is blank but I can see he is tense. What is going on here?

Turning back towards the front, I decide to listen to Damon's performance, and just enjoy it for now. His eyes focus on the audience, looking at each of them in part, but never letting his gaze rest on just one for more than a few seconds.

_Tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart_

_Oh, tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart_

His gaze hardens; a pained look darkens his features. He portrays the emotions beautifully; to the audience, it may seem as if he is just letting the song move him– I know better. He must be thinking of Katherine and remembering the years he spend hoping to get her back when, all along, she was free—aware he was looking for her but doing nothing about it.

I could tell his mood drastically changes in tone with the song.

_A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage!_

The alcohol in his system seem to be making it hard for him to control himself; a few times, I could see the vampire features fighting to reveal themselves but a second later, he had subdued the monster within. It was a good thing the lights were very dim and no human eyes could note the slight change.

_You did not think, when you sent me to the brink, to the brink_

_You desired my attention but denied my affections, my affections_

_So tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart_

_Oh, tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart_

I wasn't at all expecting him to fall in love with me. I was honoured but I needed him to know that I didn't see him as more than a friend. I was very much in love with his brother and would not leave him. He could not understand my inability to define the connection between us, for fear of my world being turned on its axel. What would Jenna think of me? My friends and family would hate me for everything—they did not accept Damon or understand him the way I did.

_Lead me to the truth and I, will follow you with my whole life_

_Oh, lead me to the truth and I, will follow you with my whole life_

I knew he was still mad at me for giving him mixed signals. I told him that I cared for him – I just wanted him to know he had redeemable qualities. He told me he loved me several times, told me he would always choose me, and what did I do? I told him I loved Stefan—that it would always be Stefan. How ironic, right? It wasn't Stefan who took care of me for the past several months. It wasn't Stefan who made sure I always had a smile on my face even if I had tears in my eyes. It wasn't Stefan who loved me irrevocably. No, it was Damon—the person who would forever be by my side even when I told him his love was a problem, even when I hurt him repeatedly and turned down his help. Life always has a way of knocking you of your high horse—of pointing out all your mistakes, laying them out on a platter, and making you regret everything you've done.


End file.
